NAIT

Our 20 week ultrasound was done at a high risk office just to be on the safe side (and everything in the ultrasound was great) but the high risk doctor said that based on what he knew about Ben, it sounded like we may have a very rare condition that would in fact affect other pregnancies and we needed to be tested (Andrew and I). So we went in and had lots of blood drawn and overnighted to WI which was the closest place they do this testing. We got the results back yesterday that we do have this condition (the name is super weird, but the abbreviation is NAIT, you can find it on google, but there isn't much info due to it's rarity). At this point Emma hasn't been affected at all and she's fine. The treatment is mainly getting my immune system to stop 'attacking' her platelets. To do so I have to go in weekly for all day (8+ hours it sounds like) IVIG infusions until the end of the pregnancy (which may now end as early as 36 weeks). At 28 weeks I also have to start on prednisone until the end of the pregnancy. They're putting me on the highest does of each treatment for this condition since Ben was such a severe case. My care will be transferred to the high risk doctors and I will see them probably bi weekly and have to have at least monthly ultrasounds to check on little Emma. Prayers are very appreciated at this point!!!

It's a Girl!!

We had our 20 week ultrasound yesterday and everything looked great. They did a bit more in depth ultrasound considering our past history but they said that right now everything looks great with our Baby Girl :) We go to the doctor on Thursday for a checkup and to discuss the ultrasound.

18 wks 3 days

Nothing to really update on... for a few weeks now I've been able to feel baby every now and then. Exciting but since I don't feel often or strong, it tends to just make me worry more. On the 23rd we'll find out if it's a boy or girl!!! We're having a more detailed 20 wk done in order to have a little more peace of mind. Hopefully all goes well!!

Heartbeat

I've been all kinds of stressing out lately because I can't really feel baby yet to know if he/she is okay or not so I made a midway appointment to go hear the heartbeat :) All is going well :) I have another regular appointment on the 29th and then we get to schedule our ultrasound appointment :)))) I so can't wait to see if it's a little boy or girl :)))

Baby Brew #3!!!

So after a very difficult December (I kept having pregnancy symptoms but tests kept showing negative, and in general the roughness of the holidays) I decided to give 2011 one last chance to redeem itself and took a pregnancy test on the 31st.... Positive!!!!

I was in such disbelief that I rushed over to the fire department to tell Andrew in person. Unfortunately since it was a holiday weekend, I couldn't call the doctor until the 3rd. I talked to the nurse a bunch on the 3rd and she said basically all they could do early was do a blood test like that day and have me come in 2 days later to show my HCG levels rising... That would have been all well and good except we were leaving for Hawaii on the 5th so I couldn't get the retest. So we went to Hawaii and had a great time, except for the morning sickness that I had twice.

The day after we got back we saw the doctor and he ordered an ultrasound to date the pregnancy as we had no idea when I got pregnant. A week later we had the ultrasound and saw that everything looked good, a heart rate of 158. A week after that we went back to the doctor and he said it was too early to hear a heartbeat but everything seemed good again...

Had another doctor appointment on the 29th and all seemed well :) good heart rate of 159 and he pointed out when the baby moved (the doppler made a static-y noise).

So the due date is September 09 but since I'll have to have another c-section, baby will probably be born on September 03. Here's hoping all is well/goes well between now and then!!

Hawaii

I would give absolutely anything to not be leaving for Hawaii in less than a week... it would mean that Ben was here with us still and we didn't need a "get-away" or a "relaxation vacation".... I miss my little buddy so so much...

Holidays

I don't have a clue where to start. I just need to vent and write out feelings and this seemed as good of a place as any to do that. Thanksgiving wasn't has awful as I thought it would be, nor was Kate's wedding, but I am so so so dreading Christmas. I am usually so absurdly excited about Christmas... I put up my decorations the day after Thanksgiving and leave them up til New Year's Day. I watch the Muppet's Christmas Carol a billion times. I listen to tons of Trans Siberian Orchestra and see them in concert. I sit down and write out all my Christmas cards and wrap all my gifs with such care. I started to put up decorations today and it broke my heart. I couldn't stop crying while I did the decorations around the house or put up the lights outside. I had to toss "Baby's first Christmas" and a "Grandma loves you" ornament into the nursery... My heart is breaking so badly tonight. I can't even imagine how horrible it's going to be when it's really Christmas. I wanted to be able to go buy Ben his first Hallmark ornament instead of a "in memory of" ornament at the mall. I wanted to hang Ben's stocking by Andrew and mine, and not have to hang up Linus and Zoey's instead. I wanted to shop for his first Christmas outfit. I wanted to take all those billion of pictures of him picking out the Christmas tree why he's in a little snow suit and pictures decorating the tree and pictures by the tree... It was supposed to be a fun Christmas with two babies, now it's just going to be that much worse. I just wish my son was with us more than anything, ever... It just hurts so bad...